


A party? What could go wrong?

by Shortbread_Otaku



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking, Drinking Games, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Not to be taken seriously, Party, Sibling Rivalry, We don't talk about the great karaoke incident of 08, need more sibling dynamics, really this is stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:48:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28434903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shortbread_Otaku/pseuds/Shortbread_Otaku
Summary: Dorothea convinces Edelgard to host a party and things get a little out of hand...
Relationships: Caspar von Bergliez/Linhardt von Hevring, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan, Dorothea Arnault/Edelgard von Hresvelg, Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra, Petra Macneary/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	A party? What could go wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my contribution to the hundreds of New Year fics that will fill this fandom. This sprung from a conversation with a friend about how 3H characters would act drunk, New Years just fit this well.

Dorothea walked into her shared apartment, carrying grocery bags. “Edie, It’s New Year’s eve y’know what that means?”

“Chillin’ out with my girlfriend?” Edelgard offered from her place on the couch. 

“It’s party time!”

“No, Dorothea no.” Edelgard groaned. “New Year’s parties are a cesspool of regret and broken promises.”

“Usually, yes,” Dorothea agreed. “But if we host it ourselves, we can control it.” she dropped the bags in the kitchen. “A party with all your friends where you can get to control the alcohol limit.”

Edelgard hesitated before she responded. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Of course. And it gives us the chance to help Petra and Bernadetta out!”

“They’re truly helpless. It’s so obvious that they like each other.” Edelgard paused. “We weren’t like that, were we?”

Dorothea smiled sadly. “I’m afraid we were.”

“Okay,” Edelgard conceded. “We can have a party.”

Their apartment was still decorated for Christmas, so this New year’s eve party had the honour of hosting a cardboard Santa. They picked up a set of Christmas decorations in a local homeware store, and Santa came free with it. Red and green fairy lights adorned the window sills and doorways. A small tree-covered in tinsel and baubles sat in the corner, and the cardboard Santa stood next to the door to greet their friends as they arrived. 

“Okay,” Dorothea began. “You take Bernie; I’ll talk to Petra.”

Edelgard flashed her thumbs up before manoeuvring her way through the crowds towards the back of the room where Bernadetta was talking to Hubert.

“-for being such a toxic jerk!”

“Ah, I see the book is going well?” Edelgard said in lieu of a greeting.

Bernadetta nodded excitedly. “Beatrix just cut her toxic father out of her life!”

“And this is in no way inspired by real events?” Hubert teased.

Bernadetta fixated her gaze on her drink as if it was fascinating. “No. No, not at all.”

Edelgard laughed softly. “I hope I have a cute girlfriend in it,”

Bernadetta perked up at that. “Oh, you’re gonna love Sylvie, she’s a sweetheart but takes no nonsense!” her cheeks turned red. “Not that my characters are based on anyone.” 

Time to turn this conversation towards other cute girls. “Speaking of, I heard Petra wanted to read your book.”

“What?!” Bernadetta exclaimed. “She can’t do that, It’s awful. She’ll read it and hate me, and I’ll be a laughing stock and-” Hubert cut her self loathing ramble off.

“I’ve read your book.”

“Yeah but-”

“Showing your book to Petra is scarier than Hubert?”

Bernadetta froze as she considered Edelgard’s words. “I guess you have a point. But it’s different!”

This could be outside of Edelgard’s bounds, but she had to try. “Because Petra is a cute girl and Hubert is a man?” Edelgard mouthed _sorry_ to Hubert who shrugged. 

“Yeah, exactly!” Bernadetta realised her words and buried her face in her hands.

“What’s not to love about it?” 

“It’s amazing.” 

Bernadetta stared off in puzzlement as her brain connected the dots. “Yeah, why wouldn’t she like it!”

“Why don’t you talk to her about it now?” Edelgard gestured to Petra in the periphery. 

Bernadetta greeted Petra and Edelgard motioned for Hubert to follow her.

“Another one of Dorothea’s ploys?” Hubert guessed.

“Which you happily played into.”

“Bernadetta has immense talent; she only needs to be reminded at times.”

Edelgard gave Dorothea a high five when she saw her next. She could always be trusted with matters of the heart.

“Nice work Edie, I think it’s time for a drink.”

After two hours the alcohol flowed faster than Edelgard could keep track of, and after Claude showed up, she conceded and grabbed a drink for herself. It was then she saw Caspar watching Linhardt explain to Lysithea what star trek was.

It was a relief to see Caspar abstained from drinks this evening. When Caspar got drunk, he felt the need to prove his manliness and challenged everyone to an arm-wrestling match. On multiple occasions, he has managed to break lamps and glasses.

“You not drinking?” Edelgard slurred her words a little, Was she that drunk?

“Nah, designated driver,” Caspar said. “So you don’t have to worry about your lamps.” he joked.

Edelgard laughed loudly at that, she patted Caspar on the shoulder and left. She wasn’t drunk, Caspar was just a comedic genius. That made sense.

Edelgard wandered over to Dorothea, who listened to Ferdinand ramble on about the attractive man brooding in the corner.

“I just don’t know what to say,” Ferdinand whined, he was quite the whiny drunk if memory serves correct,

“Mhm,” Dorothea nodded. “Not like you’ve been dating for two years.”

“Right! That would make things a lot easier.”

Speaking of, where was Hubert? Edelgard wandered around in search of him and found the man staring directly at the couch.

“That ginger is so cute,” Hubert moaned.

That gave Edelgard an excellent idea.

“I heard he likes you,” Edelgard said in a sing-song voice that appeared out of nowhere.

“No!” Hubert gasped.

“Yep,” Edelgard popped the ‘p’ on the word.

“What should I do?”

Edelgard took the last swig of her beer and grinned. “You should go ask him out.”

Hubert jumped up and made his way over to the couch. Edelgard had a sudden burning desire to know how her earlier matchmaking attempt went. She searched the kitchen and living area for them, then she heard giggling coming from the spare room and was about to investigate when she heard a screech. She turned on her heels and looked for the sound; she located Hubert bawling his eyes out on the couch.

Edelgard asked what happened, and Dorothea explained. “Hubie asked Ferdie out and started crying when Ferdie said he was taken.” But wasn’t Ferdinand the one who wanted to ask Hubert out? If it weren’t for the drunken haze Edelgard was in she would have figured that equation out. Dorothea left for the kitchen so they could talk more easily. 

“I swear those two can be such idiots some times.”

Edelgard forgot to respond; she was too busy staring at Dorothea. She was traditionally gorgeous in her knee-length dress, wavy brown hair and sharp cheekbones and a warm smile. She leaned against the kitchen counter casually like hadn’t a care in the world.

“Wow, you are so drunk.” Dorothea filled a glass at the sink and handed it to Edelgard. “Here.”

“Thank you.” Edelgard took tentative sips of the water before downing the whole glass.

Dorothea snorted. “To think you and Dimi are siblings, your tolerance is so different.”

Edelgard took that as a personal slight. Dorothea thought she was weaker than her brother. That wasn’t true. Dorothea was not allowed to think that about her. It needed to change. Dimitri sat at the kitchen table, talking to Claude, so Edelgard had no time to think before she spoke.

“Dimitri, I challenge you to a drink off!” Edelgard expected resistance; she expected for him to laugh at her; what she didn’t expect was his look of steely determination.

“I trust you remember when you said that as teens?” Dimitri asked. “How you were so determined to beat me, you ended up throwing up in the bathroom all night?”

Edelgard shushed her brother as Claude laughed at her. “I remember.”

“Very well. Claude can referee.”

Edelgard crossed her arms. “You think I’d let your boyfriend oversee this?” she raised an eyebrow. “Make it Petra. She’ll be fair.”

“Fine. Let us begin.”

Dorothea placed her hand on Edelgard’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. You don’t have to do this. I know you’re not weak.”

Edelgard brushed her hand off. “I’ve got this.”

There were ten shots of strawberry vodka lined up in front of Edelgard. Apparently, Claude brought this suspiciously pink liquid. Was she going to die? Yes, Dimitri was ten times bigger than her thus biologically more suited to hold alcohol, but that didn’t make him stronger. Edelgard threw back the first shot, and It felt like fire. She wanted to gag, but Dimitri seemed to be unaffected by it so she would be too. There was no way she was letting her brother beat her at this.

Two shots later Edelgard felt woozy, her brain felt like cotton, and her tongue was on fire. 

At shot number four, Edelgard nearly threw up. Maybe she was worse at holding her liquor. Like Dorothea had said, or perhaps this was unholy stuff not meant for human consumption. 

Edelgard vaguely recognised Dorothea’s voice as she told her to stop, but this was no longer about impressing her girlfriend, this was sibling rivalry, 

Edelgard downed the fifth shot and immediately regretted it. She tried to see how Dimitri was doing, but her vision was blurry, and it hurt to move her head. Her heart felt like it was trying to break out of her chest. Why were her palms so sweaty? 

“Stop…” Edelgard moaned. Her head felt like it was about to explode.

“Can you walk?” Someone asked.

Edelgard stood up and crashed into the table. She felt arms gently wrap around her and guide her out of the kitchen. She fell into bed and buried her head under the duvet. 

Edelgard woke up in a dark room with her head pounding. It was her bedroom. Dorothea’s arms were wrapped softly around her waist. Edelgard turned her head to look at the time. It was six in the morning, way too early to be awake. Edelgard managed to fall back to sleep, and when she woke up at ten, there’s aspirin, water and Dorothea was gone.

Edelgard takes the tablet and counts her blessings that she found Dorothea. She has a vague memory of being brought to bed, and a wave of embarrassment washes over her. She’s not a heavy drinker, so what happened last night? Oh right, drinking competition. How did she get so carried away? Why did she drink enough to let herself get carried away? Edelgard wanted to hide under the covers and never face her bad decisions. But that would only make things worse. Edelgard wrapped herself in blankets and left the room.

As most of their friends were not party animals, they were able to drive home by themselves. Left were Ferdinand and Hubert who were asleep on the couch, Petra and Bernadetta who found the spare bedroom plus Claude and Dimitri who were silently eating toast in the kitchen when Edelgard arrived.

“Good morning Edie,” Dorothea pressed a kiss to Edelgard’s forehead before putting on toast for her. Edelgard found out early in their relationship that Dorothea had a very high tolerance to alcohol and thus was kind enough to take care of people the day after.

Edelgard mumbled good morning and sat across from Dimitri. She knew better than to wish for silence, after a party her brother would talk endlessly, especially if he had stayed at home. Partly to tease her, partly out of genuine curiosity.

“Look El, I’m sorry about last night,” Dimitri lowered his voice after receiving two sets of glares. “As your big brother I shouldn’t have encouraged you last night, and I apologised for it.”

“It’s fine, Mitya,” Edelgard waved her hand to dismiss his apology. “I’m an adult, and I should be able to know when to stop. Stupid sibling rivalry got in the way.”

“Agreed. Let us put an end to this rivalry.”

“Speaking of which,” Dorothea gave Edelgard her toast. “I expect to hear more stories about this.”

“Same here.” Claude piped up. “I’ve heard so much yet so little about this rivalry.”

“Oh, so you haven’t heard about the time Dimitri did a black flip on our roof?”

“What?”

“And I stuck the landing,” Dimitri added.

“Or the time Dimitri stole the neighbour’s cat.”

“That was you!” Dimitri insisted. “I’m not the one that crawled into a bush.”

Edelgard held up her hand to stop the joke Dorothea would have made.

“Have you told Claude about the great karaoke incident of ’08?”

“Hush! That stays between us.”

“You’re right. let’s not speak of it again.” Edelgard picked up her toast and began to eat it.

“No,” Claude whined. “You can’t leave it like that.”

“Edie?” Dorothea raised an eyebrow. “You said you hated karaoke.”

“I do. It is the one thing we do not talk about.”

Edelgard and Dimitri refused to talk anymore about their past, despite how persistent Claude and Dorothea were. Once they left, Edelgard fell back into bed and right to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Dorothea would absolutely embarrass her friends by telling them of their antics, saying that she would also give them a hot water bottle for nausea. 
> 
> Edelgard and Hubert both have a low tolerance to alcohol, so there are plenty of stories of the 'fearsome' duo. Hubert is definitely an emotional drunk, you cannot change my mind.
> 
> Come say hi to me!  
> Tumblr: Shortbread-otaku  
> Discord: Cookiegamer#9211


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